Other Script
Poor Guidance
The Movie
Kylian - Louis Taylor (Popular)
Biddy - Ashley Bellis (Nerd)
Riordan (REAR-DUN) - George Redstone (Happy)
Dan - Zach Hanks
Donnie - Jack Friend
Teacher - Tobie Lang
Donnie - Jack Friend
Teacher - Tobie Lang
Kylian
What?!
Biddy
Bro! I just found the sickest gun
Kylian
[Nods unimpressively]
What?!
Biddy
The'DEMON - 5!!!!'
Kylian
It's 7 in the morning. Like...Stop!
Biddy
Bruh! This is one of mankind's greatest achievements
Kylian
If that's what you consider one of man's greatest achievements. No, Even an achievement by itself then you should go to a doctor mate. See you at college Biddy.
Biddy
I have better and more impressive news!
Kylian
Is it to do with Call of Duty?
Biddy
Maybe....?
Kylian
What?!
Biddy
[He says like a nerd (laughing geekily)]
It has a silencer!
Kylian
Bye.
Kylian puts down the phone and looks around the room
Kylian
Damn!
Kylian discovers that he has no charger and his phone is dying. He goes towards the door and kicks away the female sock. Kylian exits and on the way out he picks up his bag by the door.
Kylian travels to college and seems tired. He is eventually at college and walks in.
Biddy joins him
Biddy
Bro! Wazup?
Kylian
Nothin' you?
Biddy
Nothing, I just been on the sesh
Kylian
Okay, If yu think a 'sesh' is sitting on your ass playing COD then you clearly don't know what the true meaning is. And well I know it's you so I know you don't know what a girl is.
They stop halfway through his line and Kylian walks off and leaves Biddy
Kylian gets into class.
Teacher
Nice of you to join us Kylian.
Kylian
Hi...
Teacher
Log in and start up a new document
Hi, Key!
Kylian
What's up, Riordan?
Hear that Bid got that new gun. He won't stop going on about it!
Kylian
You get that too?
Riordan
Who didn't?
Kylian
Everyone in the class!?
Riordan
Riordan nods 'yes'
Even the girls
Kylian
He's got problems mate and I'm not talking psychologist I'm talking like psychiatrist level.
Riordan
He's never gonna get a girl if he carries on like that fam
Kylian
Your famming me now?!
Riordan
Yeah
Kylian
Yeahhhhh!
Biddy
Hey! Hey! Wait up!
Riordan
What?
Biddy
What ya think? Neat huh? I mean this-this is stupidly ridiculous!
Kylian
Sit down Bid
Riordan
It's okay buddy
Biddy
Okay but can I say my thing first
Riordan
Lemme guess. It's got a 'silencer' an 'ACOG' and you think it's a revelation because you broke your high score and you think you might have to resort to Halo now that you've completed it.
Biddy
Show off
Kylian
We know hat you like COD. I mean who doesn't right? But you've got to chill man it's like you are possessed!
Riordan
Yeah and we think you need to see a psychiatrist
Kylian
Really? That quick?
Riordan
Skipping the point with him is useless.
Kylian
Right. So what we-
Biddy
Whoooooooohooooo!
Riordan
He's literally like a dog. Or at least has the attention span of one.
Kylian
He stinks, he looks a state he has no intention of doing anything in class he has got no sleep he is the living definition of a freakin' nerd!
Riordan
I know. We'll help him. Just get him some snacks and he'll be back to. Well, whatever he calls normal.
Kylian
What is going on with that kid?
Kylian
Kylian
I kind of said some bad things...
Kylian
Like what? We can fix it if you want?
Riordan
It's okay... We can help you!
Biddy
No... I just said like why did you start talking to me if you're taken (oh and by the way she's taken) and basically, she was like sorry and I was like why and it turned into an argument and I ended up calling her a slut.
Riordan
Well you failed then
Kylian
It was good that you even talked to a girl in the first place. But now we know why you stick to gaming.
Riordan
Don't feel downhearted by this just don't worry! These things happen, mate, it only makes you more intelligent.
Kylian
Yeah and she's not even worth it
Biddy
Alright, then I'll take your word for it I guess since you know so much.
Riordan
MOVING ON! I think we should go to the cinema tonight?
Kylian
And watch???
Biddy
Moana!
Riordan
No you moron the new wolverine film!
Kylian
'Logan'?
Riordan
Yeah!
Biddy
Okay!
Kylian
Are you sure Biddy, I only ask because the last time you said yes you didn't come and stayed at home on your game?
Riordan
And I'm straight so if I go on my own or with Kylian then I'll look bent or lonely
Biddy
What's wrong with being bent?
Riordan
Nothing, I just don't wanna come across as such!
Kylian
So to summarise, we're not going?
Riordan
Oh my god this always happens!
Biddy
Not my fault!
Kylian
Nor mine
Kylian
Alright, see ya!
Dan
Where are you going?
Donnie
Come back here
Donnie
Aren't you missing something?!
Riordan
What?!!
Dan
Lunch
Kylian puts down the phone and looks around the room
Kylian
Damn!
Kylian discovers that he has no charger and his phone is dying. He goes towards the door and kicks away the female sock. Kylian exits and on the way out he picks up his bag by the door.
Kylian travels to college and seems tired. He is eventually at college and walks in.
Biddy joins him
Biddy
Bro! Wazup?
Kylian
Nothin' you?
Biddy
Nothing, I just been on the sesh
Kylian
Okay, If yu think a 'sesh' is sitting on your ass playing COD then you clearly don't know what the true meaning is. And well I know it's you so I know you don't know what a girl is.
They stop halfway through his line and Kylian walks off and leaves Biddy
Kylian gets into class.
Teacher
Nice of you to join us Kylian.
Kylian
Hi...
Teacher
Log in and start up a new document
Kylian rolls his eyes and does so
RiordanHi, Key!
Kylian
What's up, Riordan?
Hear that Bid got that new gun. He won't stop going on about it!
Kylian
You get that too?
Riordan
Who didn't?
Kylian
Everyone in the class!?
Riordan
Riordan nods 'yes'
Even the girls
Kylian
He's got problems mate and I'm not talking psychologist I'm talking like psychiatrist level.
Riordan
He's never gonna get a girl if he carries on like that fam
Kylian
Your famming me now?!
Riordan
Yeah
Kylian
Yeahhhhh!
They fist bump
Class ends
Riordan leaves with Kylian and they get outside
Biddy catches up
Biddy
Hey! Hey! Wait up!
Riordan
What?
Biddy
What ya think? Neat huh? I mean this-this is stupidly ridiculous!
Kylian
Sit down Bid
Riordan
It's okay buddy
Biddy
Okay but can I say my thing first
Riordan
Lemme guess. It's got a 'silencer' an 'ACOG' and you think it's a revelation because you broke your high score and you think you might have to resort to Halo now that you've completed it.
Biddy
Show off
Kylian looks at Riordan and puts a faithful look into his eyes
Biddy sits down
Kylian
We know hat you like COD. I mean who doesn't right? But you've got to chill man it's like you are possessed!
Riordan
Yeah and we think you need to see a psychiatrist
Kylian
Really? That quick?
Riordan
Skipping the point with him is useless.
Kylian
Right. So what we-
Biddy has left
Biddy
Whoooooooohooooo!
He runs away with his laptop in the air.
Riordan
He's literally like a dog. Or at least has the attention span of one.
They start walking again
Kylian
He stinks, he looks a state he has no intention of doing anything in class he has got no sleep he is the living definition of a freakin' nerd!
Riordan
(Patronisingly)
I know. We'll help him. Just get him some snacks and he'll be back to. Well, whatever he calls normal.
What is going on with that kid?
Riordan
I know! [laughing] he's like a kid trapped in a kids body.
Kylian
More like a gamer trapped in a gamer's body
Riordan
No.
Kylian
What?
They are having lunch
Biddy
Anyone on tonight?
Kylian
What?
Riordan
I think he means to say something about the game
Biddy
So?
Kylian
No! Just....stop with this!
Riordan
I think he means to say please
Kylian
Oh! Well no.
Biddy
Hear about that girl who sexted that guy ad went all over the internet?
Kylian
I think that was an online bullying advert. That's never happened. Believe me!
Riordan
I think he means to say-
Kylian
Zzzt-zip it kid!
Riordan
What?! I'm just your friendly neighbourhood sentence helper to plebs like you!
Biddy
Aaaand that's why I don't talk about girls!
Kylian
You're right. At least he tried. Right?
Riordan
He tried to talk about online bullying.
Biddy
What would you have said then, Riordan?
Riordan
I dunno Biddy something like 'Aww she's fit' or something NORMAL?
Biddy
Isn't that being perverted
Kylian bursts out in laughter
Kylian
Ohhhhhh!!!!!!
Riordan
No, it's not perverted unless you physically abuse her!
Biddy
Isn't that what you did last week when you tried to chat up that girl?
Kylian
Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!
Riordan
How else am I going to get a girlfriend
Biddy
'Steve Jobs' He invented 'iPhones'!
Kylian
Hahahahahahaha!!!!!
Kylian
Hahahahahahaha!!!!!
Riordan
What?
Biddy
Well, you ask for her number! Not go in for a failed hug that ended up in a slap!
Riordan
Agh! Why am I even talking to you-you don't even know the slightest thing about women?[stutter]
Kylian
Guys - c'mon!
Biddy
Really? Then how do you explain........
[pulls phone texts out]
THIS!
Kylian
Drops food both gobsmacked
No way!
Riordan
'Jane!' Who?
Biddy
Not so bad eh?
Kylian
Come on then!! Who is she mate?
Biddy
Hair and beauty!
Riordan
Oh.
Biddy
What?
Kylian
They've all been taken. There like the treasure chest that no-one can open.
Biddy
What? No!
[Looks at his phone in horror]
Riordan
Before you say 'that bitch' you should wait till the teacher walks past.
[They wait in awkward silence]
Biddy
THAT BITCH!
Teacher
LANGUAGE BIDDY!
Riordan
ohhhhhh!
Kylian
Hey! That's my thing!
Riordan
Not anymore.
[In college, a few shots of them in class. They then move to the end of the day and walking home now]
Riordan
Ay, Kylian what's the plan for the day now?
Kylian
I'm off home don't know about you!
Biddy
Well....Remember when I was promised that if I every got a girlfriend then we would set each other up with a girl
Riordan
Yeah
Kylian
No way! You've got someone for us both?!
Biddy
No, no. What are you on about? I just said essentially bye to that girl I was texting
Riordan
You mean Jane
Biddy
Yeah!
Kylian
Well? Are we getting set up or Nah?
Riordan
C'mon!
Biddy
No I kind of can't speak to her now.
Riordan
What do you do!
Biddy
I kind of said some bad things...
Kylian
Like what? We can fix it if you want?
Riordan
It's okay... We can help you!
Biddy
No... I just said like why did you start talking to me if you're taken (oh and by the way she's taken) and basically, she was like sorry and I was like why and it turned into an argument and I ended up calling her a slut.
Riordan
Well you failed then
Kylian
It was good that you even talked to a girl in the first place. But now we know why you stick to gaming.
Riordan
Don't feel downhearted by this just don't worry! These things happen, mate, it only makes you more intelligent.
Kylian
Yeah and she's not even worth it
Biddy
Alright, then I'll take your word for it I guess since you know so much.
Riordan
MOVING ON! I think we should go to the cinema tonight?
Kylian
And watch???
Biddy
Moana!
Riordan
No you moron the new wolverine film!
Kylian
'Logan'?
Riordan
Yeah!
Biddy
Okay!
Kylian
Are you sure Biddy, I only ask because the last time you said yes you didn't come and stayed at home on your game?
Riordan
And I'm straight so if I go on my own or with Kylian then I'll look bent or lonely
Biddy
What's wrong with being bent?
Riordan
Nothing, I just don't wanna come across as such!
Kylian
So to summarise, we're not going?
Riordan
Oh my god this always happens!
Biddy
Not my fault!
Kylian
Nor mine
[Back at college then next day
They walk in and are met by two bullies]
They walk in and are met by two bullies]
Riordan
Morning lads! and Biddy
Biddy
What?
Kylian
Morning mate
Riordan
Hold up!
Biddy
What?
Kylian
It's them
Biddy
Oh right...Dan and Donnie
Enter Dan and Donnie
Donnie
Hey boys
Dan
...and Biddy
Biddy
You what?!!
Kylian
Alright, see ya!
Dan
Where are you going?
Donnie
Come back here
[they grab Riordan, Kylian and Biddy}
Donnie
Aren't you missing something?!
Riordan
What?!!
Dan
Lunch
[Kylian elbows Dan and kicks Donnie in the nuts]
Riordan after all the beatings you aren't seriously going to say no to this is you?!
Riordan
No.
Kylian
Pussy.
Riordan
For righteousness?
Kylian
Yes!
Riordan
I'll be behind you
Kylian
Yeah, thanks.
(sarcastically)
Dan
Oi!!
Donnie
Dan! Get em'
Dan
Nah your alright
[in the hall behind the doors]
Riordan
Close one
Biddy
They had me at point
Riordan
Thanks, Key!
Kylian
Thought I had to do something
Biddy
And well done for it!
Kylian
Lets move
Riordan
Yeah
[back to classroom]
[dan and Donnie walk in injured]
Dan
You!
Donnie
Leave it, Dan, I don't want my privates to be touched again!
Teacher
I'm missing something
Riordan
Fashion sense?
[Everyone laughs together]
Teacher
What happened to you
Kylian
They assaulted us so we fought back
Teacher
WHAT!!!!
Riordan
Self-defence!
Biddy
No, more like dick defence
[gets a strange look from everyone and he looks down]
Biddy
WHAT?!
Teacher
You got in a fight?!
Kylian
No, they pinned us down in the hall....
Riordan
.....and we were being physically assaulted against the college and country law....
Biddy
....then we hit em' in where the sun don't shine! Or at least Kylian did...
Teacher
Right.
Dan
In our defence, they had no right to do that
Riordan
YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO PIN US DOWN YOUR SPACKO!!
Teacher
Riordan...Please... Anyway, so Dan and Donnie get out!! NOW!
Donnie
[to Dan]
Your an idiot
[Dan pushes Donnie]
Kylian
Thanks
Teacher
Your on thin ice too
Riordan
Hold on, that's not fair.
Biddy
Yeah we should be on thick ice
Teacher
Let's just carry on with our essay's, please. I'm going to deal with those lot out there!
[teacher leaves]
Riordan
Hahahaha!!! They got so wrecked
Kylian
In it, they might of well have been punched in the feelings
Biddy
I'm not an expert in-jokes but what are you on about?
Riordan
Mad ting
[Teacher enters and they get on with class]
Teacher
Right! Let's get in with this.
The class pans out
They are at Kylian's place
Riordan
What a day!
Kylian
I'm proud of myself though
Biddy
You smashed him, bro!
Riordan
Yeah! You like took a stand.
Biddy
It's as if you channelled your inner ninja!
Kylian
Yeah, let's go with that!
Biddy
No! I'm taking it! You did it. For all of us, you made Dan and Donnie finally scared of us. Our lives will never be the same again!
Riordan
Oh my god. Biddy is actually right! This is incredible.
Kylian
Look at us! getting all emotional over bullies. You know now were on top. We can take back our pride and show them what it was like to be us for a day.
Biddy
I don't know it just doesn't seem right!
Riordan
WHAT?! So you're saying that you don't want to take the opportunity to take revenge.
Biddy
Were you ever told revenge is right?
Riordan
NO, but-
Biddy
Then don't do it.
Kylian
Well, I'm not sure about you but were doing it.
Biddy
What exactly are you going to do?
Kylian
Hit em'
Riordan
Wow. Really ?!
Kylian
No! I'm taking it! You did it. For all of us, you made Dan and Donnie finally scared of us. Our lives will never be the same again!
Riordan
Oh my god. Biddy is actually right! This is incredible.
Kylian
Look at us! getting all emotional over bullies. You know now were on top. We can take back our pride and show them what it was like to be us for a day.
Biddy
I don't know it just doesn't seem right!
Riordan
WHAT?! So you're saying that you don't want to take the opportunity to take revenge.
Biddy
Were you ever told revenge is right?
Riordan
NO, but-
Biddy
Then don't do it.
Kylian
Well, I'm not sure about you but were doing it.
Biddy
What exactly are you going to do?
Kylian
Hit em'
Riordan
Wow. Really ?!
Kylian
Riordan after all the beatings you aren't seriously going to say no to this is you?!
Riordan
No.
Kylian
Pussy.
Riordan
For righteousness?
Kylian
Yes!
Riordan
I'll be behind you
Kylian
Yeah, thanks.
(sarcastically)
Riordan smiles
They walk up to bullies the next day
Dan
Oi! You two!
Donnie
COME HERE YOU MUGS
Riordan and Kylian start running away from being chased
Riordan
TOLD YOU!!
THE END
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